Five years ago I was a cheerful slob with one low-paying job and a dozen ruinous hobbies. I had a girlfriend, or rather three girls. Of course, there was only one nearby at a time. I’m ashamed to admit, but I chose them as things - according to the weather. One for a cheerful sunny picnic, another for rainy autumn melancholy, the third. The third is when you need to have lunch with someone on a hot working afternoon.
Sunstroke
I could imagine a lot of things. My own luxurious three-level apartment (which I still don’t have). And Mexico, where I will certainly take part in a costume ceremony depicting Aztec ritual sacrifices. I could even admit that I would get tired of the fun catching up on the career ladder, and I would enlist in the French Foreign Legion to chase terrorists across Africa. But I not only didn’t plan what happened, I couldn’t even imagine it. I live with a woman who is ten years older than me. And I’m learning to build relationships with a 10-year difference.
It was a low blow. And higher. Sunstroke right on the head, like in Bunin's story. And even a powerful hydraulic shock - from the inside, into the heart. It's difficult to explain. Imagine that you constantly see some unfamiliar and at the same time painfully familiar person in your muddy morning dreams. And suddenly you meet this very person in reality - real, laughing. It was a miracle in its purest form.
She did not charm me, did not seduce me. I just took it. She loved to repeat this joke: “I don’t need someone else’s, but I’ll take what’s mine, no matter who it is.” So she took me as something uniquely hers. Being around her was interesting, exciting, strange and at the same time calm and cozy. She was very different from all the girls I talked to then - my peers and those even younger... She didn’t lie, didn’t pretend, didn’t play any fictitious roles, she just lived. And she did it beautifully, with some kind of royal dignity and at the same time with bewitching simplicity. This, apparently, is what is called experience. Sooner or later it appears in everyone, even in the most stylish and inappropriate young girls. When they grow up, they, too, will probably become queens... Although I do not rule out that others will remain young fools until old age.
Languid sighs
I have never had better sex than with her with anyone. And it’s not about some kind of acrobatics or the fact that she allowed something that others usually didn’t allow (by the way, she did, yes). Please, don’t let anyone be offended, but sex with girls twenty years old or younger is unbearably boring. Now that I have something to compare it to, I would say that this is not sex at all. Young beauties are pointlessly trying to conform to some crazy template, formed by unknown films and existing only in their heads. Passionately and falsely, they take a languid sigh strictly once every five minutes. They refuse certain poses on principle: it looks, you know, somehow wrong. How should it look? And anyway, who is looking at them at this moment?!
It may be an older woman who understands exactly what she wants! And able to explain this to you without any embarrassment or false modesty. We had only one problem in bed - I couldn’t restrain myself for long. Especially the first two times. Now it has somehow stabilized. We tuned in to each other. And every time happiness bursts out of me, I scream like crazy, not thinking at all that someone will misunderstand me. And at this moment, you know, I don’t care to such an extent that for 10 years!
A girl is 10 years older than a guy: psychology
A couple of times in my life I cared. Once, friends invited me to a muddy charity concert and entertainment party. We came together. Everyone was quietly getting drunk. At first, acquaintances and strangers came up to me and said: “You are such a nice couple.” Then the girls began to wink and grin in an unpleasant way. And then one frame came to us and said something like, “Is it true that older women think about sex all the time?”
He then received it from me specifically for the “elderly aunts.” After which she, while washing my shirt, slightly stained with blood from a broken lip, in the toilet, laughed and said: “Let’s assume that it was you who proposed to me today.” She kissed me on my broken lip - it was painful and sweet.
The second time I cared was when we met her mother. A wild initiative on the girl’s part, of course. But what can you not do for your beloved? At first everything looked decent - cake, flowers, hello-thank you-please. And then her mother pulled her out to talk in the next room. From there it started saying “Are you crazy” and “He’s just a child” - exactly at a volume level so that I could hear, but the neighbors could not hear. And then my girlfriend jumped out - red-faced, in tears. And then it seemed like an electric shock struck me - she was so defenseless, so pitiful that suddenly it immediately became clear: she really was a little girl. And I, although younger than her, am actually older and stronger. I said only one phrase to her mother: “And we will live with me.” At that time, it was a blatant lie: there was no “me” yet. But a year later it appeared, because she is a little girl and I strong man. Yes, and in the most intimate and affectionate moments, you know what she calls me? Daddy. And believe me, I'm proud of it.
Relationships 10 years apart
Well, yes, we have a ten year age difference. Everyone around me has long been accustomed to it. In fact, no one cares, but we feel good together. It turned out that there are a lot of common interests. We sorted out the household and economic problems surprisingly quickly. However, she is not friendly with technology. But it looks so cute when she enters into a life-and-death battle with yet another iPhone or netbook... If things get really tough, the real Batman always flies to the rescue and is a handsome man of all trades. I enjoy being Batman. We look like the same age. She does swimming, yoga and some kind of “bioenergetic self-regulation.” I don’t know which of these is more useful, but everything that is supposed to be elastic is elastic.
The funniest thing is to remember what event prompted me to decide, so to speak, to legitimize the relationship. For the first few years, the thought of marriage simply did not occur to me. And the beloved woman did not express any concern about this. On the contrary, she said: “I’m still young, I want to go for a walk, I’m not ready for serious decisions yet.” Just kidding. Or weren't you kidding? But one day a boy whom I know very well, three years younger than me, began to court her. And I was seriously afraid that I would lose her. She probably set it up on purpose so that I would see him handing her some skinny bouquet at the entrance to make me jealous. And I, of course, became jealous... She’s cunning, and, of course, she calculated everything in advance. For this I give her a special thank you.
She categorically refused a lavish wedding - we ran away from everyone on a tour of the Mediterranean. No girl would do that at twenty years old. But what about dresses, dances, ransoms, bridesmaids and other nonsense? And at thirty-something, a wedding without a crazy wedding is reasonable and... to my liking. We've been together for five years. Married for a little over a year.
Our future? Don't know. I only know that it definitely exists. And age... What is age? When she falls asleep on my shoulder, she sometimes catches my shoulder with her lips in her sleep. And as long as she does this, no matter how old we are, she will be younger than me.
Great husbands who were younger than their wives
Salvador Dali was 10 years younger than his wife and muse Gala. The fact that he is 10 years younger did not stop the eccentric couple from maintaining mutual attraction until the end of life. When Gala died, Dali stopped creating and spent the last seven years of his life in sad loneliness.
Sergei Yesenin and Isadora Duncan were separated by 17 years. This strange passionate romance was subsequently overgrown with rumors and legends.
Milena Maric, Einstein's first wife, was five years older than him. When they met, he was 17 and she was 22. Many scientists believe that without her the theory of relativity would not have happened. The genius's second wife was only three years older than him, and she already had two children from a previous marriage.
Honore de Balzac called his first and most important love the writer Laura de Verny, married older woman him for 22 years. She became not only a lover, but also a friend and adviser to the writer, inspiring Balzac in his literary work.
Diane de Poitiers, the favorite of King Henry II of France, was 20 years older than him. Henry reverently loved her all his life, right up to his death at a knightly tournament, and considered Diana his muse and best friend.
In many couples, the man is 10 or more years older than his chosen one. Girls explain their love for mature representatives of the stronger sex by the fact that they, as a rule, take life more seriously and realize that they are ready to belong to only one woman, without wasting time on casual relationships. However, no matter how much we are drawn to older men, we still fear that these relationships are doomed to failure due to differences in views and interests.
Why are we drawn to them?
Explaining a woman’s desire to see next to her a man who is significantly older than her, psychologists identify several main reasons.
Think carefully - perhaps you just like to feel like a daughter, a little girl, even in such a relationship.
Firstly, I’m attracted by the prospect of a stable, serious and strong relationship. If we are talking about a young woman about 30, then a man over 40 will seem to her to be accomplished, successful, and wanting to start a family. Of course, it would be stupid to put everyone under the same brush, but most women firmly believe that happiness awaits them in a relationship with someone who is over 40, 50, and so on.
Secondly, This is due to the lack of paternal love, which the father, for some reason, did not give to his daughter in childhood. This is difficult to realize, and most likely you will think that you are in love with a mature man for a completely different reason, but think carefully - perhaps you just like to feel like a daughter, a little girl, even in such a relationship.
Third, a mature man is an accomplished person both materially and psychologically. He will not start scandals out of nowhere, and will not put his personal happiness at stake in the name of moving up the career ladder. And, importantly, he, unlike younger representatives of the stronger sex, recognizes that there are undertones in life. Maximalism is a passed stage.
What are the benefits of such a relationship?
1. It is believed that a mature man is a great lover, focusing not only on himself, but also on how the chosen one feels in bed with him. Young women in relationships with men over 40 claim that sex with such an experienced partner is a real pleasure.
Young women in relationships with men over 40 claim that sex with such an experienced partner is a real pleasure.
2. Life experience and cones stuffed during previous relationships, make such a man more restrained. He will think ten times before cutting from the shoulder and burning all the bridges behind him.
3. Rash actions are not about mature men. At least not most of them. By the way, the same applies to their attitude towards money: having learned to earn money, they, as a rule, learn to spend wisely.
4. They want a family. If before meeting you a man has not managed to build strong family relationships(he was either not married at all, or had already gotten a divorce), and in you he finally found the one he had been looking for all his life, then, most likely, he will do everything possible so that you become his wife and give birth to his children. Mature men are more focused on family values than young men.
What's the catch?
At first glance, it may seem that such a connection is simply the standard of a strong romantic relationship. However, even here there was a fly in the ointment. Or rather, even several.
1. It will not be possible to redraw. If you are a fan of “making up what happened,” then a mature man is not your story. Changing something in him is a very difficult task because he has a clear idea of what is right and what is wrong. And he knows exactly how to live. Therefore, you will have to either adapt to your chosen one, or become water, which, as you know, wears away stones. True, this will take a lot of time.
2. With the prefix “ex”. A mature man is usually someone's ex-husband and possibly father. You will have to put up with the fact that his heart will always be occupied by someone else. If you do not agree to share his attention with children and ex-wives, then you will have to either step on the throat of your desires, or look for another, younger chosen one.
3. Different interests. If the age difference is significant, then get ready for the fact that sooner or later it will play a role in the issue of holding joint leisure. You want noisy parties, going out and karaoke songs, and he wants quiet evenings on a cozy sofa in front of the TV. Of course, at the beginning of your relationship, the man will try his best to impress you, inviting you to parties and restaurants every now and then. But one day he will say: “Darling, let's stay home this Saturday evening.”
Incognito 03/10/2007 - 04:31
I met a young man 9 years younger than myself. At first it all started out like “only sex between us.”
But I suddenly began to understand that every day I needed him more and more.
Every parting cuts like a knife into the heart. I understand with my mind that there is no future and there cannot be. The guy is young, he still has time to walk and walk.
I'm afraid to say and realize that it's not just sex anymore.
IT is clear that all ages are submissive to love. But words are words, however, there is such a thing as the reality of life.
Destroerr 10.03.2007 - 05:08
Yes, and 9 years is not much, I have a classmate, right after school he married a 28-year-old, and even with a child from a previous marriage, they still live together, and she was waiting from the army. The second case, a colleague married an older girl themselves for 3 years, now they have a child and live in perfect harmony.
Humanoid 03/10/2007 - 05:51
Tell. What if he is a gerontophile, or whatever their name is... 😊
morskaya 10.03.2007 - 10:17
Incognita
I met a young man 9 years younger than myself...
Fortunately, there are many examples from life when a man is 7, 10, or 14 years younger than a woman (the difference is from 2 to 5 years, even more often) - they live and everything is OK 😛
The main thing here is how you feel about it!
Does this difference bother you personally? or is it important to you how society will react (parents, loved ones, etc.)?
There are men who, even at 20-25 years old, are quite mature PERSONALITIES! can take responsibility for themselves, for their actions... and for the woman!
If there is love in this relationship - both on your part and on his part - then do not pay attention to this age difference.
You just need to understand that such an age difference is always an additional incentive for a woman 😛
T- 10.03.2007 - 12:07
IT is clear that all ages are submissive to love.Well, then love... if it all started with sex and he doesn’t need anything else from you, then what can I say... I wish I knew how he feels about you and your relationship.. Probe this ground 😊
ORDYNETS 10.03.2007 - 12:53
Incognita
...
Can anyone tell me what? Because my brain is not able to adequately assess the state of things. Should I tell him? Afraid. I no longer have the strength to remain silent.
No, no need to talk...
With sympathy...
Amateur 10.03.2007 - 18:13
Will be a boy mom, and mom son and everything will be OK 😊
But seriously, why not, since FSEH FSE suits you? Advice and love 😛
ORDYNETS 10.03.2007 - 18:24
AmateurShe is the advice
May you live happily ever after
He is love
😛
😞
Destroerr 10.03.2007 - 18:32
Peace, friendship, chewing gum...
Why bother arguing, he won’t say it, he’ll regret it. At one time I was a fool myself, I was silent, but now I think that everything could have gone wrong, no matter how many moments were missed in life.
Amateur 10.03.2007 - 18:35
vice versa
he-vances
she-loves 😛
morskaya 10.03.2007 - 19:29
Amateur
vice versa
he-vances
she-loves 😛
As always, men brought everything to a logical END 😀
Amateur 10.03.2007 - 19:37
I wonder how a woman determines whether a man has a logical END? 😛
morskaya 10.03.2007 - 19:52
Hey... what is there to define here? 😛
A man is a logician - and the end will be logical 😀 😀 😀
Everything is in the hands of a man, and a man is in the hands of a woman 😛 (c)
Amateur 10.03.2007 - 20:06
I would say it’s more logical 😊 Humanity is in the hands (and not only in them) of a woman 😛
Incognito 03/10/2007 - 20:26
Destroerr
Try to say it, it’s better than not to say it, you’ll punish yourself later.
Yes, and 9 years is not much, I have a classmate, right after school he married a 28-year-old, and even with a child from a previous marriage, they still live together, and she was waiting from the army. The second case, a colleague married an older girl themselves for 3 years, now they have a child and live in perfect harmony.
Yes, there are many examples from life confirming that the age difference does not matter for loving people. But for those who love. But I’m not sure that he has feelings for me. 12 years of marriage, two sons. For me, in terms of personal happiness in this life, everything is over. Who needs such happiness? I shouldn't have forgotten what I have the right to hope for.
I'm afraid that if I open up to him, he will get scared and disappear.
It would probably be better to leave everything as is. And be silent.
Incognito 03/10/2007 - 20:31
morskayaIf he doesn’t know about your age, tell him, don’t delay!!! Everything will immediately fall into place.
I always looked 10 years younger, so the men who are trying to get to know me are 8-12 years younger than me.
😀
T- 10.03.2007 - 22:00
Incognita
The age difference does not matter for loving people. But for those who love. But I’m not sure that he has feelings for me
Incognita
12 years of marriage, two sons
You almost answered your question 😊
T- 10.03.2007 - 22:01
IncognitaHe knows about age and children. This doesn't bother him. But in his understanding, our relationship is at the level of “only sex between us.”
Ann 10.03.2007 - 23:02
Men start relationships with sex, at first they don’t need anything else... And then they get used to waking up in a warm bed, eating Tasty food, swear over an ashtray... And then they simply become close and dear. Of course, if you live together and not just “date”. True, such relationships will also end sooner or later, and it will be excruciatingly painful, very painful. But there will be a lot of happiness as long as you are together! It's worth a try for this.
Pussy333 03/11/2007 - 12:39
How is he interested in your life at all? Does he communicate with children? Does he participate in your life in any way, or is everything limited to meetings?
Destroerr 03/11/2007 - 02:49
Damn, don’t attack him, you don’t have to go to the registry office with him, but live together. Tell him to come live with me, it will be more convenient.
Incognito 03/11/2007 - 04:18
Destroerr
Damn, don’t attack him, you don’t have to go to the registry office with him, but live together. Tell him to come live with me, it will be more convenient.
And no one runs into anyone.
Maybe I should go with him to the non-registry office. But...I’m not alone, I have a huge responsibility. Maybe I’m wrong in some ways, but I’m trying to protect my children from unnecessary disappointments. They've had enough of the fact that their father has disappeared from the horizon. What will happen to them, to their psyche, when their uncle comes and lives, but the relationship with his mother does not work out and he leaves?? I believe that my home is my fortress, I will not allow anyone into my home until I am 100% sure that this person will not harm my loved ones or me.
If I were alone, I wouldn’t bother. However, the reality is that I have to reckon with possible consequences, which are possible in this situation.
Incognito 03/11/2007 - 04:24
Pussy333
How is he interested in your life at all? Does he communicate with children? Does he participate in your life in any way, or is everything limited to meetings?
Pussy333 03/11/2007 - 04:59
IncognitaYes, he’s not particularly interested in my life. He does not communicate with children, because I do not allow communication.
At the moment, it is better not to force things. Keep your feelings a secret for now. Believe me. Time will tell whether it is worth opening or not. But the fact that you keep him at a distance from your children is true. They don’t need unnecessary psychological trauma; they are poor and have already received these traumas.
Destroerr 03/11/2007 - 08:06
Then I agree.
Red_Cat_2 03/11/2007 - 11:56
I lived in a marriage for seven years with a man 19 years younger than me. Four of them were completely happy. Then it started... It all ended in divorce, and it was natural, but if I had to start over, I would have married him again!
Who cares how old someone is! And at seventy you can meet a person who rocks like a teenager, and at twenty-five you can see the dull eyes of an old man. Look into the soul! 😊
Amateur 03/11/2007 - 18:09
No matter how hard I try to look at the soul, my gaze is still directed at the body and shell 😛 the soul is of course good, but appearance and body are not the least important thing 😛
Eros 03/14/2007 - 11:40
My Amazon is 9 years older than me. We've known each other for a long time, but we've been living together for about a year and a half. And her children treat me well, just as I treat them. The only “but” is that we rent an apartment next to each other on the floor and live, as it were, separately, but nevertheless we have lunch and dinner together. And I have no problems communicating with her daughters. Just like she and the children have no problems communicating with my daughter (6 years old) from her first marriage. Moreover, I visit my daughter after work almost every day and Amazon is fine with this.
What about feelings? Now I am sure that this woman is my only love. I feel good and easy with her. There are, of course, tense moments, sometimes even often, but that’s life. The main thing IMHO is not to humiliate or insult each other. If this exists, then it’s not love, it’s just some kind of bullshit.
What will happen next? I don’t know and I don’t want to guess. But I believe that we will always be together. It's like in the song:
"But I don't know how many years
You and I are allotted to us by God.
But I keep it as your portrait
One of your golden locks..."
And it would be nice for the author of the topic to define his feelings. You write what you love. Do you trust it? IMHO no, otherwise you wouldn’t limit a man’s communication with his children. And if you don’t trust a person, is that really love? Love is when people are completely open to each other. Do you have any doubts? IMHO this is a hobby. And it takes time to understand what it really is. It will just put everything in its place.
Fath 20.03.2007 - 20:14
9 years is not that long, in principle. A friend of mine’s brother has, so to speak, a relationship with a woman 17 years older than him, she has two children. It turned out funny: he had just returned from the army, and her son had just left. They live normally.
MURAD 20.03.2007 - 22:10
the greater the age difference between people, the greater the difference in their worldview and assessment of values..... therefore, it is probably better to minimize this moment in a relationship.... although there are exceptions to everything, so listen to yourself and do not look for an answer on the outside , he's into both of you
Dr. Watson 03/21/2007 - 09:42
ErosGee, in the context of the forum, Amazon was Artemovskaya. 😛 Yes, I know, it’s a cruel joke.
My Amazon
sir 03/21/2007 - 10:43
You won't get a damn thing... Fuck while you like it and don't worry about your future life together. Otherwise you will be left without love and without sex.
------------------
There is such a village in Mexico - Nahui. I sell tickets there.
sergAY 21.03.2007 - 10:56
My opinion is that you won’t be able to do anything, it’s just that the pretzel has adapted perfectly, an experienced, wise woman has taken over the milksucker and uses it, at the same time she feeds and drinks it, and he learns all sorts of perversions for free with an experienced instructor, then, having found a suitable girl, he sends the old woman on an erotic journey and that's it.
umuru 21.03.2007 - 11:07
Well, yes... for most young boys, this kind of sex without obligations, with an easily accessible partner who is older, is the easiest way to get this very sex... From this we dance with the forecast for the further development of the relationship...
flea 03/21/2007 - 14:04
Don't change anything. Life itself will make corrections. It's good that both are relatively young. Difficulties will begin closer to the sad age.
Eros 21.03.2007 - 17:21
Dr. Watson
Gee, in the context of the forum, Amazon was Artemovskaya. 😛 Yes, I know, it’s a cruel joke.
I don't know about this. I often call my woman the Amazon. Surely some men call their ladies the same way. And what does evil have to do with it?
Angly 03/21/2007 - 18:36
sergAY
My opinion is that you won’t be able to do anything, it’s just that the pretzel has adapted perfectly, an experienced, wise woman has taken over the milksucker and uses it, at the same time she feeds and drinks it, and he learns all sorts of perversions for free with an experienced instructor, then, having found a suitable girl, he sends the old woman on an erotic journey and that's it.
sergAY 21.03.2007 - 19:37
AnglyIt’s cynical, but, as a rule, this is exactly how it turns out.
mouse 03/21/2007 - 20:20
sergAYNatasha 😛 I’m a truthful cynic 😛 this will all end, otherwise they start convincing themselves, what if it works out and there will be love until the grave Figurines as a course training will take place, and will fly out of grandma's hands a clear falcon 😛 It’s tough, but it’s true, but she wants to shoot him, well, like, they’ve lived and I’m in an interesting position like get married, and he’s a fool and on the run. That's love, carrots. 😛 😀 😀
there are different cases)
my boss lived with her husband for eighteen years, and he is 7 years younger than her. The son was raised. We parted without the participation of third parties, no one left for anyone.
Yuranych10 03/22/2007 - 12:43
Yes, it won't last long. Now he will gain experience and leave. I understand that you also feed him. Feed correctly, whoever eats meat, the more meat, the more he eats. 😀 A woman needs to fight more to be in in great shape. So, don’t tell him anything, but if you tell him, he will leave, and then you will regret it. 😛
Sher_Khan 03/24/2007 - 20:00
It’s also somehow hard to believe in a happy life together in this situation. Although anything can happen...
Pussy333 03/25/2007 - 01:20
M-yes......I read and read....and something, damn it, became so sad....
Red_Cat_2 03/25/2007 - 12:35
What's sad? To prove to someone that it is possible, they still won’t believe it. There are simply people who don’t give a damn about public opinion, and there are those who don’t give a damn at all. Which one is better is a moot point. Someone connects with their love of a “non-standard age” and enjoys life, while others worry and worry and find suitable peers (or someone else younger) - and also enjoy life, because they receive public APPROVAL! We still cannot determine which of them is better and which is worse. Everyone decides for themselves. 😊
Pussy333 03/25/2007 - 14:47
2Red_Cat_2: Yes, people’s cynicism made me sad. Or, at 32, I haven’t grown up to it yet. But I honestly feel uncomfortable with the statements of some individuals.
Pussy333 03/25/2007 - 17:57
2Red_Cat_2: I don’t judge anyone, because I’m the same person as everyone else, and I have no right to judge anyone. I'm just drawing conclusions.
liouda12 03/26/2007 - 01:39
You know very well that you are losing him, that your time “together” is slipping through your fingers like sand. It is given to us to foresee the ending, the soul panics and tries to stop time, waits for a miracle, rushes about and suffers. You KNOW His place in your life, you yourself determined it by establishing a distance between Him and the children. There is no need to tell him anything, he knows everything himself, this will only speed up the breakup. Don't torment yourself with waiting and hope, shake yourself up, spring has come! Smile at life, thank it for being alive and feel that every day it brings you little joys. Break this vicious circle of EXPECTATION and SUFFERING, and happy and confident women are not abandoned, believe me! Good luck to you
Red_Cat_2 03/26/2007 - 01:56
Why should time spent together be viewed as sand running away? This is happiness! And let it be a month, a year, two years... it doesn’t matter how long! After all, what the soul needs is relationships, and not the obligatory ability to fix these relationships. Since they are given by fate, they must be appreciated!
No one knows how a relationship might develop. Peers can get divorced in a month, a happy marriage can sadly end with the unexpected death of one of the spouses, a stable relationship is broken by an unexpected meeting. Therefore, appreciate what we have! Even fleeting happiness... Just because it is fleeting does not make it any less valuable.
And hope - always!
Ann 26.03.2007 - 03:08
IMHO, this is called "grasping at straws."
And it’s good only for those who have already achieved the most important things and can afford to simply enjoy relationships and live for their own pleasure...
Red_Cat_2 03/28/2007 - 01:13
Tanya, you are absolutely right. PPKS. Unfortunately.
Miron 05/08/2007 - 20:06
Now there will be some kind of advice from an outsider.
Don't admit it. And then....
First decide whether you need it. If yes, then get started.
IMHO, any young man does not want to get married. At all. It doesn't matter if it's 9 years more or less. But he understands that someday it needs to be done (dolls, etc.) Therefore, attract him gradually. Take advantage of what you are superior to young girls in (experience, ability to create comfort, lack of show offs and quirks, unhealthy ambitions). And when the understanding comes to him that it seems like it’s time to get married (he’s under 30, all his friends have families/children, his salary allows it), then he shouldn’t have an option better than yours.
Possible problems, in my opinion, are his parents, and so that he does not feel like a “son”, but a man.
PAULIUS 05/09/2007 - 18:36
If all you need now is sex, have it for your health with a young hypersexual.
If you want a husband, don’t waste time, look for a man who needs a family and who missed it in his time. This one will accept your children, and maybe you will have more.
He will be close in age, or older, in any case, his scale of values is different than that of a twenty-year-old.
If you get frisky now, you can remain alone and without sex for the rest of your days.
Think, decide, time passes.
fedor 05/09/2007 - 20:07
-T-Naturally, when a person just has sex with another and nothing more, he doesn’t care what that person has behind him...
Golden words! I am eight years older than my girlfriend, and she is eight centimeters taller than me. Could she find someone younger and taller? Of course! But she needs me, she is in me and sex is far from the main thing here. So, dear Incognito , even if you confess your love to him, even if you don’t, the result will be the same. Well, he doesn’t need you! And if you confess, he will have an extra reason to brag to his friends. IMHO, it’s not worth it. Sincerely, Fedor.
S-t Pepper 05/12/2007 - 20:57
Idk.
my ex-lover Now she lives with a boy 9 years younger than her. She seems happy.
Moreover, she herself is 8 younger than me.
This is some interesting arithmetic...
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Question for a psychologist:
Hello, I don't know where to start. I am 26 years old, I am a successful young man, I work, play sports, have hobbies, interests, in general, everything is in abundance. I met a girl on May 8, 2014, I knew her in absentia, so to speak (mutual friends), at first I had a sexual interest in her. I talked to her about this, that it wasn’t all serious and that nothing that serious would happen between us, she listened to it, got upset, cried. But I just told the truth and gave her a choice: either end it all, or, if she’s happy with it, then let it go as it is. She said that she was happy with it, I felt that she was very much in love with me. She wanted to see me nearby, somehow so quickly within a month and a half she introduced me to her relatives, friends and child. I spent the night with her, then it turned into cohabitation, I, like a decent person, gave everything, bought, pampered, vacationed together, we became very close as a family, I kind of accepted the fact that she was older, that she had a child for 10 years, but After 9-10 months of cohabitation, my head realized that I needed to quit, that I needed a young woman, not married, without children, and I said for the first time that I was leaving. She was very hysterical, she didn’t know what to do, she thought that she couldn’t live without me. I had my own apartment, I packed my things and went to my place. 2 days passed, I couldn’t find a place for myself and I realized that I love her. I went, met her after work, silently hugged her at the entrance of the store and we stood in silence for a long time, shedding tears, I said let's go home and we went.
Everything is fine. After some short time, I was off the scale again, my subconscious was again hammering at me that this shouldn’t be the case, and I left again, it didn’t last long for me, a little longer. She already experienced it more calmly compared to the first time. I felt bad, I was broken, I didn’t want to do anything, and again I wanted to be with her. I began to ask her, give flowers, write, ask for forgiveness, promise. She let me in. And again, time has passed, I already feel that she is not so kind to me. We talked and she said that she didn’t love me that much, to which I said that I wasn’t happy with that and left again. This was already the 4th time. I thought that enough was enough, two weeks passed, I didn’t write, I held back, I feel bad again, my head says no, but with my soul and heart I want to be with her. Two weeks passed, she wrote that she missed her, and I replied that I missed her too. He invited her to come and talk to him. I again wanted to be with her, to which she told me that she didn’t know what she wanted, she would think, and that night she stayed with me. Now a month has passed since the last moment I left, we live separately, she comes to me on weekends, and in the morning she leaves for her home and work. I’m not rushing her to make a decision, and I myself can’t fully understand myself, everything is confused. This is how superficial my story is.
Is it possible to be happy if your husband is much younger? Does it depend family life from the difference in years between spouses?
www.rabstol.net
I met my man at work. I am a free girl, not burdened with a husband and children. Andrey was undergoing a probationary period and often came to our department to sign documents. Light flirting, play with glances and gentlemanly manners were the first things that attracted my attention.
I flew to work as if on wings, of course, I began to pay attention to my appearance- think through your image even more carefully.
After it became obvious to everyone at work that Andrey was courting me, a colleague said with a grin over a cup of coffee:“Do you know how old your Romeo is? He’s 9 years younger than you.” I pretended to know, laughed through my teeth with my “friend,” but the information came as an unpleasant surprise to me.
I’m not a prude, and I have a normal attitude towards couples in which the partners have an age difference of 3-4 years, or when the man is much older than the woman. But the mentality takes its toll: we, and specifically me, are not yet adapted to accept relationships where the woman is much older than the man.
Although I didn’t plan a long relationship that smoothly flows into marriage, so I allowed myself to forget myself and plunge headlong into an amazing romantic adventure. It will end quickly anyway.
We met, went to lunch, to the cinema together, he gave flowers and nice surprises. I went on unexpected, unusual dates and thoroughly enjoyed life, realizing with surprise that I had fallen head over heels in love. It was as if I was experiencing my first adult love for the second time.
He wasn't bothered by my age. We spent a lot of time together and talked about everything in the world - in general, I was reliving the “candy and marmalade” stage in a relationship, when the partner seems ideal, but the whole life is still ahead.
But she didn’t tell anyone how old Andrei was. I look very good: I play sports, watch my diet, take care of myself - we look like peers and no one has any questions.
Recently Andrey proposed marriage. Everything was like in a movie: a restaurant, champagne, a ring in a velvet box (not a diamond one, though), but I remembered and bought exactly the one I liked in the jewelry store.
I said that I was confused and embarrassed, that I would like to just live together a little longer. This hurt him - I saw it, but he tried to pretend that everything was normal. “I’ll wait until you make up your mind,” Andrey concluded, smiling.
All my life I have depended on the opinions of others: I went where my mother wanted, was a follower in all respects, and never shone in companies - just an ordinary, slightly shy girl.
In my rented apartment, even the furniture is the one my mother insisted on (I liked the other one, but this one was also cute - I was too lazy to swear, and I gave up). Why am I telling this?
As soon as Andrey proposed to me, I immediately thought about the remarks of my loved ones and “friends”:“Are you attracted to young people?”, “Didn’t you think that he was with you out of convenience: an independent adult woman and a former student is the plot for a cheap melodrama,” “Yes, in a couple of years he will exchange you for someone your age.”
How can you overcome such a strong dependence on others and not be embarrassed by the age of your loved one? How to trust him and learn to trust yourself? For me there are no answers to these questions yet.
Elena
Comment from psychologist Anna Matuliak:
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Hello, Elena!
After reading your story, I experienced different feelings.- joy from the fact that you are now going through a very pleasant period, and on the other hand - regret, because it’s like you can’t enjoy it to the end...
Such an issue as relationships and family cannot be approached in a “standard way”, You should not rely on public opinion, dubious statistics, etc. There are two loving person: You and your chosen one, and how happy you will be, directly depends on both of you, but not on age as such.
For a harmonious union, it is important that both spouses are sufficiently fulfilled in life so that they have similar life and family values, and this, as you understand, is relevant for all couples.
There are some peculiarities of relationships in such couples, but you just need to know about them and be prepared:
- In such couples there is a risk of building a relationship according to the “mother-son” scenario, but, again, this phenomenon also occurs in couples of the same age.
- In continuation of the previous point, often in such couples the woman takes on the role of “leader”, “patron”, “head of the family”, etc. If this is a scenario that suits both, then no problem.
However, if a man wants to feel like a man, make decisions, be responsible for them, and a woman does not give this opportunity, devaluing abilities and opportunities, then such a relationship will not last long... And the reason will not be the difference in age... - Jealousy and fears: “he will find someone younger”, “I will grow old, become ugly, leave for someone else”, etc. Here you must also clearly understand that age is never a guarantee of a strong relationship.
Marriages with peers are also breaking up. To ensure that you don’t have too many fears and that anxiety doesn’t completely take over you, it’s good if you understand and know why your partner chose you? What does he especially value about you? What does it value? What can you do better than others? This is something that can support you and strengthen your faith. - You must be prepared for an “attack” of public opinion. Despite the fact that society has greatly advanced in understanding and accepting various variations In relation to family and marriage, the age difference between spouses still causes heated debate.
If you can allow yourself to enjoy these relationships, then coping with your environment will be much easier.
Well, as for defending your opinion, if you are planning to start a family, then this ability will be very useful to you. Defend your borders own family you need to be able to work with a husband of any age.
Judging by what you describe, you have not yet managed to completely “separate” from your mother, which is why her opinion is so significant for you. And this, among other things, can affect the harmony in the relationship with your chosen one.
This is a question that requires your attention and resolution directly with your mother.. You need to understand, realize that you adult woman who has the right to live her own life SO, as he sees fit, and with WHOM you want.
Any relationship- this is work, daily work and maintaining the “give and take” balance. There will be difficulties (all couples have them), just be prepared to see them and, of course, cope!
And be sure to enjoy the wonderful moments of life that you are experiencing now!
Dear readers! What is the age difference between you and your husband? How do you feel about families where the husband is younger than the wife? We are waiting for your comments!
